The Marimba Warning - A Prescription Bluegrass Editorial

The Bluegrass Police have asked me to pass along this message!

It seems that there have been quite a lot of infractions to the law regarding the use of instrumentation not approved by the industry’s regulatory committee with specific regard to those of the percussive persuasion.

The Bluegrass Police, being a small, understaffed and underfunded, institution have been having trouble reaching out to everyone in the community and would like everyone to at least know their rights.

Should you ever be arrested or given a summons to appear by the Bluegrass Police, you can be assured that they will whip out their little pre-printed index card and read, verbatim, the following words, but we thought that it wouldn't hurt anyone to pre-read them now so that you can prepare an adequate defense should you need to do so.

Here is the “OFFICIAL” Bluegrass Marimba Warning:

Bluegrass is an arresting music. Should you find yourself under the influence, the Bluegrass Police offer the following in the public interest:

* You have the right to remain silent.

* Anything you sing may be used on the air or on the Internet.

* You have the right to a manager, booking agent, press agent or other counsel.

* If you cannot afford these services, you have the right to manage yourself.

* You have the right to record bluegrass music or perform it live, but only under the rules and procedures set forth by the industry’s regulatory agency.

* You have the right to use percussion, but only by remaining in contempt.

* Knowing or understanding your rights as they have been explained to you, you may still continue to perform bluegrass music, but if you do not agree with these rights you must call your music “Americana.”