A Different Kettle of Fish! - A Prescription Bluegrass Editorial

I Don't Like Fish! I don't like their slimy feel when catching them out of a stream. I don't like the smell they generate when being cooked. I don't like the taste of fish. Any fish, all fish, EVERY fish. Seafood too! My dad didn't like fish either so I guess I come by it honestly.

Now don't hold that against me. If you like fish, or like to catch fish, that's fine. Have at it. Do it all you can, eat all you can. I harbor no ill feelings toward you for being a fish eater.

What I don't understand (and don't care for) is the number of fish eaters in the world who think it's their calling to convert every non-fish eater.

For many years, friends, acquaintances and even total strangers would try to convince me of the error of my opinion whenever the subject would come up. Heaven help me if it happened to be over the dinner table or at a restaurant. “Here, just try a small bite.” “You'll like this, I'm sure.” “How do you know you don't like this fish if you won't try it?” I've heard it all. I've heard it for years.

It seemed as if everyone who liked fish was bent on being the ONE who could master my refusal and get me converted to their culinary persuasion. I've had more forks of small bites of fish shoved in my face than anyone should ever endure.

That is until I came up with a couple of lines to replace my polite attempts to back away. When someone would try to convince me me of just how good fish really was, I'd say, “if it's that good, then why do you want to get rid of it? If I said that I didn't like hundred dollar bills would you be just as determined to give me some of yours just to prove you're right and I'm wrong?” That shut 'em up. After a few go-rounds with that attitude, it wasn't long before they stopped trying … and I haven't had to battle that front for quite some time now.

Just the other day I read an article from a guy who was reviewing a Yonder Mountain concert. However, he didn't contain himself to just the Yonder boys and, although he didn't really get into hate speech, his words painted a demeanor of disgust for anyone who didn't agree with him that Jamgrass was much better than Bluegrass. He had a look-down-the-nose approach to anyone who didn't think that he was absolutely and without question the only right thinking person and if you didn't completely agree with him then there must be something wrong with you … like all your strings weren't tuned and maybe even some were missing.

His article was obviously so one-sided and narrow-focused that I almost had to laugh at his ignorance. But, his words were so well strung together in support of his belief that he was boiling up the reactionary in me. Here he was shoving his Jamgrass in my face just like the fish people used to do. Not that I don't like Jamgrass … I just didn't like his approach to convincing me that it was good, no, strike that, better than anything else.

After a few days of thinking it over, I began to wonder just why we can't be content with liking whatever it is we like and allowing others to do the same. For some reason it seems that some of us have a need to push our beliefs on to everyone else we meet whether it be fish or music. As if in some way the conversion of another will validate our own belief.

I also got to thinking ahead and trying to envision just where this debate will go. Personally, I'm very tired of hearing about it. I'm tired of hearing that Traditional Bluegrass is the only REAL Bluegrass with “traditional” being defined as only that which came from the first generation, when there are plenty of new songs being recorded in the style. I'm tired of hearing that we should keep pushing out the boundaries to be more inclusive. I'm tired of so many new labels – each attempting to be whatever it is they think Bluegrass is not. I'm tired of defending my right to like a little  of this, a little of that and walk both sides of the line. I wonder if there are others just as tired as I am?

I predict that if we don't find a way to agree to disagree and each side leave the other alone that we'll both end up driving away many new fans on both sides. We'll drive away millions of dollars of revenue too that will go elsewhere because we couldn't agree to keep still.

Well, if the bluegrass family and all it's relatives can't seem to get along within the family, maybe what we need is an attack from the outside. Just like the old feudin' hill families. Let a flat-lander come in and start tellin' 'em how it's gonna be and watch 'em join forces.

However it happens, it's time we all join forces for the good of the family. At our huge bluegrass family dinner table, there are plenty of and a great variety of dishes from which to choose. There is so much on the table that not one of us will ever go away hungry if we'd just help ourselves to those dishes we prefer and stop criticizing the others for the ones they choose. If you want fish, eat 'til you're full but don't condemn those who prefer beef or those who eat vegetarian diets.